Sunday, September 22, 2013


It's the eve of my 27th birthday and I can't help but be reflective. 26 brought so much. More than I ever thought possible. More than I ever dreamt one single year could bring. It brought love, trust, demons, questions, pursuits, friendship (sweet, sweet friendships), dogs, opportunities, first homes, death and a whole {freaking} lot of faith. 

I remember stating that my word for my 24th year of life was "humility." I would say 25 was a year of "discovery." And now, 26 is definitely "faith."

I am anxious to begin my next year of life. To be honest I'm always ready for my birthday. I see it as a day to start fresh, a new chapter, another opportunity to see what the sweet Lord will bring. 

Already I know that it will bring a multitude of beautiful weddings, a new place to live and a fab new roommate, an opportunity to serve on the board of directors for a nonprofit I'm crazy about and a trip to China. Not bad, huh?

God is good my friends. If I have learned a single fact in my 26th year is that He is kind and caring and crazy about me (and you).  He weeps when I weep and sits with me during my suffering. He will NEVER leave me. 

I hope you have a beautiful day tomorrow. And if you can't find any joy in your day, just remember that and revel in His love. 


Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Too Bad We Don't Realize that Until It Is Over.

Here we are on the eve of the 8 month mark of sweet Richard's passing. As I drove home tonight from an evening work event, the song "10,000 Reasons" came on and I was overcome with sincere joy and comfort, knowing that my God is always on my side and always at my side. Oh what a year it has been so far and not once have I questioned whose hands I am carried in. What a beautiful feeling. 

This is an interesting point in the grieving process. At this point last fall, Richard and I were getting serious into our relationship. Now I am constantly finding myself recalling what we did on this day of last year, or how we spent this or that specific weekend. It makes for a lot of mixed emotions as I glance back over those memories. Some are great; some are hard. And it's not like I have multiple September 10ths to think back on, or 3 Christmases to remember; I only have one of everything. I think I like it that way, though, because it makes each of those days I spent with him so extremely special. When you only have the opportunity to spend a short time with someone, everything becomes a lot more monumental. Too bad we do not realize that until it is over. 

But here I am moving right along. With the help of God, prayer,therapy and wonderful people I am moving forward. My heart is lonely and ready to be loved again but I know that The Lord will take care of that. I know He's got a spectacular plan that I have not even fathomed before. Until then I believe He wants me to continue to focus on Him and my healing. I know He brought sweet Richard into my life to show me how I deserve to be loved. So grateful that he made such an impact even if he was only here for a mere blip of time. Miss that boy so much. 

Love to you all.